A little context I (27F) and my fiance (25M) have been in a 9 year relationship. We have different religion and this is one of the challenging parts of our relationship ever since. His parents are very religious to the point where we were asked to break up if I don’t convert to their religion and my boyfriend never asked me or forced me to change my religion for him. It was 4 years into the relationship when I decided to convert because I can see how conflicted my boyfriend (at the time) was during those times if he would follow his parents or choose me. My parents was disappointed after knowing this but was supportive of my decision.

Last year, we got engaged and everyone was excited including his parents until we laid out where we wanted to get married. We have always loved going on hikes and see the mountains. We decided to do a summer outdoor wedding near the mountains where the mountains would be visible and serve as the background during the ceremony.

His parents were hesitant most especially his mom. She told us that we need to ask first the ministers if they are going to allow us to have our wedding outdoors. I did what she said and contacted the minister who would possibly be the officiant of our wedding. I told the minister that my parents are uncomfortable to attend the wedding if it will be held in the church since that is not their religion. Unfortunately, the minister said that we are not allowed as it is not sacred. They wanted us to do the wedding in the church and suggested that the reception should be where we wanted our ceremony to happen which is a 2 hour drive from the church. I explained to the minister that I wanted it to be fair for both parents if we can have him officiate and be an outdoor wedding so my parents can come and walk me down the aisle. He still refused and told me it’s up to me and my parents if they don’t want to attend the wedding if it will be held in the church. This situation made me so frustrated and told my fiance about it. He was so frustrated about it because they did not only disrespected me but also my parents just because they are not from the same religion. We told his mom what happened and she sided with the minister. Again, my fiance was put in a tight position because of his mom.

My fiance and I had a talk and wecided to check out the venue that we chose first before we decide on what to do. We went to the venue and we almost cried when we saw it. It just felt like it was the perfect venue for our wedding. We then told his parents about it and this is where his mom started to lose it. She told us that no one in their family is going to attend the wedding and put my fiance into a tight spot again. She told us that if we don’t get married at their church, she will not attend. All of these happenings are just 2 weeks after we got engaged and my fiance and I are getting stressed out. My fiance avoided his mom for a few days after that and she keeps on sending photos of her crying and making sure my fiance feels guilty about it.

This is where I thought I am the ahole. I got so sick of it and told my fiance that if I am not getting married the way we wanted it, then I don’t want to push the wedding anymore. I have already converted to their religion, accepted all the negative comments and judgments before I converted, and her playing the victim each time. I told him that it’s up to him whether to marry me and probably his parents won’t be there to attend and support this relationship or cancel the wedding and just live together (we already bought our house before getting engaged).